Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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