My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
