I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
