she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
