Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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