He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
