I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
