using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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