I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
