6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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