I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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