i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
