He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
