I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
