before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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