In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
