guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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