I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This gyro tastes like lonliness
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
