you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
