All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
