Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
