I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
