I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
