return my video game
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I intend to get homeless drunk
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
