dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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