You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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