I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
