we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
