I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
