I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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