it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
