did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I intend to get homeless drunk
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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