its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
