I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
