2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
