Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
