I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
