8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
