This girl is more easily done than said...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
