goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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