How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
