I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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