Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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