When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
