I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
