i don't like sucking hair
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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