I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize
