Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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