True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
