i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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