Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
